Fiat: We are all fine with Sexual assault now!

Fiat: Mamma mia!!

Folks, I don’t know about you, but last I checked (which was last evening), we were not all fine with the idea of hoards of horny young men chasing women in their cars and physically removing them from the vehicle like a prey (and breaking into dance). Sounds grotesque? Tell that to Fiat, whose new commercial sees ‘Jenny from the block’ driving around in a Fiat 500 while being chased by hundreds of men, the ad then takes an interesting twist when she gets pulled out of the car, and breaks into dance?! I’m sorry my Italian friends, but in real life that could have very well taken a turn for the worse (Lara Logan anyone?), just sayin…

Maybe that’s just Jenny’s new idea of getting over her divorce, maybe it’s just her midlife crisis, maybe I left the oven on in the kitchen yesterday and it could even be that Zombies are real. In any case, here it is:


In Lebanon, they use trucks for advertising…

A green solution to our creative problems - Beirut leads the way again

Greetings mumble jumblers and aspiring creative Gods, I have just come back from a mind and body nourishing trip to the land of the Cedars filled with bionic encounters and alien chases, but I’ll come back to that later.

Moments after exiting Beirut‘s esteemed airport I was struck by this extremely innovative, environmentally friendly, green private initiative from Beirut advertising moguls (pilocks) Skyline advertising. What an absolutely marvelous solution to Lebanon’s unlife-like cluster banging traffic infested roads I said to myself, who needs to worry about Lebanon’s increasingly deteriorating environmental status, everyone knows those statistics are for Philistines anyways…

Dayum, these guys do politics too!

So these trucks roam around Beirut’s highways at all times (isn’t there laws against trucks going on roads during the day anyways?) and spew their corporate bullshit onto the otherwise ambivalent Lebanese commuters stuck in the eternal quantum loop that is Beirut congestion.

Meanwhile, as I marvel at this illuminating discovery I caught a glimpse of the continuum transfunctioner doppelgänger in the corner of my eye as it was carried around at near the speed of light by the mysterious femaliens that I encountered on the Belftort in Brugge. “Stop, give me back my phone” I bemoaned as they looked at me with disdain and vanished into the ether while I was left behind distraught. Maybe it’s about time I hired one of those trucks and pled my case, it’s just a phone mean femaliens!!

Days later, District Funk’s end of year mixtape went online (dedicated to Mr Gil Scott-Heron who we lost in 2011), and my faith in humanity (and aliens) was restored!


Are Starbucks poking fun at Anonymous?

The Starbucks Nutcracker

It’s not an odd thought that Starbucks, a name synonymous with globalization, might want to attack a group intent on facing that very system head on. But what is outstanding about this notion is the manner that Starbucks may or may not be taking.

Last week as one of my fellow drones was sipping a cup of unholy corporate ‘bucks beverage whose name is an amalgamation of several unfrequently used words that I can’t remember, it dawned on me that the freakishly pedophilic nutcracker on the cup is eerily similar to a certain masked individual that we have all become accustomed to seeing at righteous demonstrations all over the world.

Invigorating stuff...

The tagline “let’s remember why we go well together” as the crackhead (sorry Mr Nutcracker) hands a nut to a squirrel reminds me of such horrific advertising as the sensational burger ‘blow-your-mind-job’ palooza (below), or worse yet – dare I mention, the Arlington Pediatric Center’s family un-friendly distastefulness (also below)?!

Is that the message that Starbucks want to send Anonymous? Are their internet servers really that heavily protected? Perhaps it’s just an homage to Anonymous and the fact that Occupy has indeed changed the world! In any case, Anonymous took them on first, check out the incredible OccupyLSX library logo (last image).

This is the type of marketing that makes you puke out all the undigested chewing gum you ever had in your life.

No ... seriously ... NO!

Dayum, that's a bad man's library!