A couple of months ago, we were all extremly elated at the news of Mr Gerard Depardieu (with an extreme phonetic focus on the ieu) getting kicked off a Dublin bound CityJet aircraft as he whipped his penis in public then took a glorious pee while he informed a bemused air hostess: “I am an elephant … I need to pee”, a totally believable statement since elephents weigh 11000 kgs on average, roughly the same weight of Gerard’s, furthermore they actually urinate 1.5 gallons at a time and up to 15 gallons a day, and judging by people’s reaction to the story, I’d say the man urinated similar copious amounts.
Anyways, this week it seems the French are back in headlines for all the wrong (
right?) reasons again, and no I am not referring to Sarkozy’s ex-wife secretly visiting Carla Bruni after a 4 year catfight. French DJ/producer Alex Braxe was on Saturday kicked out of a club after he decided to show Gerard Depardieu that he too can enjoy the freedoms his forefathers in the French revolution fought for by dispensing a steam inside the DJ booth and then getting the boot.
Surprisingly, it turns out that 2011 was quite exciting piss-wise! So behold 2011’s watersports leaky heroes:
Lady Gaga likes to pee in wastebins.
Jessie J doesn’t only look, act and talk like Gaga, she pisses like her too!
Crazy footballer urinates in front of rival fans.
North London traffic dude pees as he walks.
Fellow male-oids, we can now play pacman as we piss!
And finally, it seems like American Football player Nick Novak just had to check his junk was still functioning after taking a painful kick earlier!
Alas my intellectual crowd, fear not, I have the culture cure for you to save you from the degradation that has befallen this sheet so far. November’s grooves have arrived: